The Fade
By J.F. Slade
Old Franklin Smith was at it again, shouting profanities from his porch as he tossed a beer bottle into the pile in his yard, a statuesque homage to his favorite alcoholic past-time. Katrina Powell hated sharing the road with him, the two lone occupied houses on a once busy street. Her two children would stare at him with a strange fascination, but he never made any pleasantries. He didn’t earn the convenience of their companionship.
How did he keep finding beer? The grocery store had plenty at the beginning, but was there still enough to satisfy his habit? She was assuming he could even make the trip. Katrina had been carefully saving a small amount of gas in her car for emergencies, but she doubted Franklin was making the same considerations. She feared the moment he ran out of food, as her small garden was barely producing enough to feed the three in her family.
“Why do you keep staring at him? It only makes you angry.” Samuel was astute: far wiser than a twelve-year-old should have been.
"I just worry; that's all." She moved her gaze towards her son and faked a smile.
“He’ll fade eventually, Mom. They all do.”
How did Franklin outlast everyone else? What was his secret weapon besides an iron liver? She missed Jack and his ability to calm her down when no one else could. He could handle her rage.
Katrina was a teacher once, wrangling 2nd graders in the local elementary school, but that was when there were other kids. Now there was just Samuel and Christa, her two children who refused to fade. She wouldn’t let them. They held tightly onto each other when everyone else was gone.
Christa was crying in the other room, prompting Katrina and Samuel to drop their discussion and run to the small child. She was clutching her stuffed dinosaur with a picture of her with her father. Jack had such an expression of joy in his face, so much love in his eyes.
“I think he’s still here,” she said, choking through her tears.
Katrina knelt and pulled Christa up onto her lap. “I know what you mean. I feel that way often.”
“Why did he have to go?”
“I don’t know, Sweetheart. I wish I did.”
She was too young to understand normal death, the mundane gut-wrenching feeling of losing someone in a car accident or even old age. Katrina missed that kind of loss: with knowledge and understanding. The Fade was an unknown, an invisible enemy she found herself battling every day.
People tried to explain the disappearances away for a long time. Wars started over the missing people, but then soon enough, there were too few of them to fight anymore. Jack stayed longer than most, but a month ago, he went outside to feed the chickens and never came back. Katrina found her determination through her kids. She wouldn’t let them fade, and she couldn’t leave them alone.
Katrina tucked her sobbing daughter into her bed and sang to her softly. The sweet child closed her eyes, clutching her stuffed dog close to her chest. Samuel climbed up the ladder to the top bunk, having permanently abandoned his own room to be closer to his sister. Katrina left them in there, sleeping as peacefully as the Fade would allow.
As she entered the kitchen, she could see it in the periphery, but she refused to acknowledge its presence. Instead, she continued her routine of filling every available vessel with running water, unsure of how long the liquid would keep filling the house’s pipes. Franklin was still out on his porch, singing now. Why hadn’t he faded?
She stepped outside and crossed the street, her arms crossed in front of her despite the lack of chill in the air. “They’re trying to sleep now.”
He looked at her and smiled. “Is my music too loud for you? You prefer the silence of nothing?”
She shook her head and turned back towards her house. He was impossible to deal with, and she wondered why she bothered.
“Do you ever think about facing it?” he called after her. “Everyone does, eventually.”
She turned back to him. “You haven’t.”
“I’m a stubborn old man and not interested in the next adventure.”
She paused for a moment on his words. “You’ve looked.”
“You haven’t?”
She shook her head. “I refuse.”
“Smart girl.”
Even at the end of everything, he found moments to be demeaning. Katrina readied her rant about being almost 40 but didn’t have time for it. A loud scream radiated from her house. It was Christa.
She ran inside, only mildly aware that Franklin was behind her. Christa was crying in her room, and Samuel was nowhere to be seen.
“He went to the bathroom and didn’t come back!”
Katrina and Franklin immediately started searching the house, calling out Samuel’s name. They checked every small corner twice to no avail. Eventually, she sat down on the couch in defeat, debating how to talk to her frightened daughter.
“You’re not going to cry?”
Katrina glared at him. “Get out,” she said with anger burning in voice.
Franklin nodded and walked out of the house. Katrina struggled to catch her breath as her pulse beat into her throat. She had so much anger and so much rage, consuming her in devastation.
Christa came out of her room and sat down next to her, patting her in a comforting way. Katrina laughed for a moment before shoving away the misguided emotion.
“I’m so sorry, Sweetie.”
“Mom, I think I’m going to go into it.”
Katrina stared at her daughter in disbelief. The child was no longer crying, but her eyes were still puffy and red.
“Don’t say that. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to be alone here.”
Katrina pulled her daughter in close and found the tears that had been evading her. She held the girl that night until at some point, exhaustion won out, and Christa fell asleep. Katrina stared at her all night, unwilling to let the child out of her sight.
How did he keep finding beer? The grocery store had plenty at the beginning, but was there still enough to satisfy his habit? She was assuming he could even make the trip. Katrina had been carefully saving a small amount of gas in her car for emergencies, but she doubted Franklin was making the same considerations. She feared the moment he ran out of food, as her small garden was barely producing enough to feed the three in her family.
“Why do you keep staring at him? It only makes you angry.” Samuel was astute: far wiser than a twelve-year-old should have been.
"I just worry; that's all." She moved her gaze towards her son and faked a smile.
“He’ll fade eventually, Mom. They all do.”
How did Franklin outlast everyone else? What was his secret weapon besides an iron liver? She missed Jack and his ability to calm her down when no one else could. He could handle her rage.
Katrina was a teacher once, wrangling 2nd graders in the local elementary school, but that was when there were other kids. Now there was just Samuel and Christa, her two children who refused to fade. She wouldn’t let them. They held tightly onto each other when everyone else was gone.
Christa was crying in the other room, prompting Katrina and Samuel to drop their discussion and run to the small child. She was clutching her stuffed dinosaur with a picture of her with her father. Jack had such an expression of joy in his face, so much love in his eyes.
“I think he’s still here,” she said, choking through her tears.
Katrina knelt and pulled Christa up onto her lap. “I know what you mean. I feel that way often.”
“Why did he have to go?”
“I don’t know, Sweetheart. I wish I did.”
She was too young to understand normal death, the mundane gut-wrenching feeling of losing someone in a car accident or even old age. Katrina missed that kind of loss: with knowledge and understanding. The Fade was an unknown, an invisible enemy she found herself battling every day.
People tried to explain the disappearances away for a long time. Wars started over the missing people, but then soon enough, there were too few of them to fight anymore. Jack stayed longer than most, but a month ago, he went outside to feed the chickens and never came back. Katrina found her determination through her kids. She wouldn’t let them fade, and she couldn’t leave them alone.
Katrina tucked her sobbing daughter into her bed and sang to her softly. The sweet child closed her eyes, clutching her stuffed dog close to her chest. Samuel climbed up the ladder to the top bunk, having permanently abandoned his own room to be closer to his sister. Katrina left them in there, sleeping as peacefully as the Fade would allow.
As she entered the kitchen, she could see it in the periphery, but she refused to acknowledge its presence. Instead, she continued her routine of filling every available vessel with running water, unsure of how long the liquid would keep filling the house’s pipes. Franklin was still out on his porch, singing now. Why hadn’t he faded?
She stepped outside and crossed the street, her arms crossed in front of her despite the lack of chill in the air. “They’re trying to sleep now.”
He looked at her and smiled. “Is my music too loud for you? You prefer the silence of nothing?”
She shook her head and turned back towards her house. He was impossible to deal with, and she wondered why she bothered.
“Do you ever think about facing it?” he called after her. “Everyone does, eventually.”
She turned back to him. “You haven’t.”
“I’m a stubborn old man and not interested in the next adventure.”
She paused for a moment on his words. “You’ve looked.”
“You haven’t?”
She shook her head. “I refuse.”
“Smart girl.”
Even at the end of everything, he found moments to be demeaning. Katrina readied her rant about being almost 40 but didn’t have time for it. A loud scream radiated from her house. It was Christa.
She ran inside, only mildly aware that Franklin was behind her. Christa was crying in her room, and Samuel was nowhere to be seen.
“He went to the bathroom and didn’t come back!”
Katrina and Franklin immediately started searching the house, calling out Samuel’s name. They checked every small corner twice to no avail. Eventually, she sat down on the couch in defeat, debating how to talk to her frightened daughter.
“You’re not going to cry?”
Katrina glared at him. “Get out,” she said with anger burning in voice.
Franklin nodded and walked out of the house. Katrina struggled to catch her breath as her pulse beat into her throat. She had so much anger and so much rage, consuming her in devastation.
Christa came out of her room and sat down next to her, patting her in a comforting way. Katrina laughed for a moment before shoving away the misguided emotion.
“I’m so sorry, Sweetie.”
“Mom, I think I’m going to go into it.”
Katrina stared at her daughter in disbelief. The child was no longer crying, but her eyes were still puffy and red.
“Don’t say that. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to be alone here.”
Katrina pulled her daughter in close and found the tears that had been evading her. She held the girl that night until at some point, exhaustion won out, and Christa fell asleep. Katrina stared at her all night, unwilling to let the child out of her sight.
The next day was a daze. Katrina and Christa hardly spoke and went about their daily tasks with robotic efficiency. The Fade made it challenging to mourn: it was too much an unknown. Katrina wanted to cry and scream and throw things, but she couldn't, not with her daughter right there. She had to stay calm. She had to remain composed. She had to show Christa it was worth it to stay.
Together, they tended the garden and fed the chickens. Together they made lunch and dinner, and together, they topped off the sinks and tubs with water.
It was clear that Christa was growing weary of her mother’s constant presence, constant hovering, but Katrina wouldn’t let that bother her. There was no way she was going to let that child out of her sight. She fought back sleep the whole day as she focused on her daughter.
But night soon came, and despite all of her efforts to fight it, she fell asleep laying next to Christa on the small bunk bed.
Together, they tended the garden and fed the chickens. Together they made lunch and dinner, and together, they topped off the sinks and tubs with water.
It was clear that Christa was growing weary of her mother’s constant presence, constant hovering, but Katrina wouldn’t let that bother her. There was no way she was going to let that child out of her sight. She fought back sleep the whole day as she focused on her daughter.
But night soon came, and despite all of her efforts to fight it, she fell asleep laying next to Christa on the small bunk bed.
When she woke, she was alone.
Katrina sat up and looked around the empty room dimly lit from the sun filtering in through the blinds. She stood up and started searching the house, but this time it wasn’t a panicked search. She knew she wasn’t going to find anyone. Christa was gone. She was alone.
Eventually, she gave up and walked outside. Franklin was sitting on his porch drinking a beer. He reached into this cooler and brought out a second one, motioning it towards her. She nodded and walked over, accepting the beer and sitting down next to him.
“Little girl is gone?”
She nodded her head.
“Why are you still here?”
“I don’t want to die.”
He shrugged and had another gulp of his beer. They sat in silence, in their empty world for the next hour, drinking beer and comprehending their fate.
“Do you wonder what’s on the other side?” he asked. “What happens when they fade?”
“Every minute of every day.”
He paused for a moment, staring out at something Katrina couldn’t see. “I lost my wife and son.”
She looked at him surprised. “I didn’t know you had a family.”
He nodded as he took a drink. “It was before the Fade. Cancer took him, and she couldn’t handle it.”
“Oh my god…” But he didn’t acknowledge her sympathy; he was somewhere else now.
“Lately, I’ve been wondering if they are there, on the other side of the Fade. I can hear them, their voices when it’s close. I think I’m ready to see them again. I hope I do.”
He put down his beer and walked inside. Katrina knew she wouldn’t see him again. She slowly finished her beer before walking back to her house. Inside, she found all of the pictures of her family she had, searching through old photo albums and family portraits. Jack, Samuel, and Christa. They were amazing and beautiful, and they deserved to be here, to have life.
She had been trying so hard to keep them here, but she couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t save them. She failed.
Something inside her broke, and she threw the family portrait against the wall. Then, she curled up into a ball and cried, harder than she had ever before. She screamed and shouted, releasing emotion she didn’t even know she had.
She only calmed down when it was too exhausting to keep crying, but the pain and emotion were still so raw.
It was in front of her now: a hole that wasn’t as black as she had seen from the corner of her eye. A warm glow reached her skin almost like a blanket.
“Is this how you get me? You trick me into thinking you’re not so bad?”
Suddenly her mind was flooded with images of family, happy and together, but they weren’t memories. They were something else.
She looked down at the scattered pictures around her, moments that she would never have back, never be able to recreate, at least not here.
“Okay.”
She pulled herself up to a stand, took in a deep breath, and walked into the Fade.
Katrina sat up and looked around the empty room dimly lit from the sun filtering in through the blinds. She stood up and started searching the house, but this time it wasn’t a panicked search. She knew she wasn’t going to find anyone. Christa was gone. She was alone.
Eventually, she gave up and walked outside. Franklin was sitting on his porch drinking a beer. He reached into this cooler and brought out a second one, motioning it towards her. She nodded and walked over, accepting the beer and sitting down next to him.
“Little girl is gone?”
She nodded her head.
“Why are you still here?”
“I don’t want to die.”
He shrugged and had another gulp of his beer. They sat in silence, in their empty world for the next hour, drinking beer and comprehending their fate.
“Do you wonder what’s on the other side?” he asked. “What happens when they fade?”
“Every minute of every day.”
He paused for a moment, staring out at something Katrina couldn’t see. “I lost my wife and son.”
She looked at him surprised. “I didn’t know you had a family.”
He nodded as he took a drink. “It was before the Fade. Cancer took him, and she couldn’t handle it.”
“Oh my god…” But he didn’t acknowledge her sympathy; he was somewhere else now.
“Lately, I’ve been wondering if they are there, on the other side of the Fade. I can hear them, their voices when it’s close. I think I’m ready to see them again. I hope I do.”
He put down his beer and walked inside. Katrina knew she wouldn’t see him again. She slowly finished her beer before walking back to her house. Inside, she found all of the pictures of her family she had, searching through old photo albums and family portraits. Jack, Samuel, and Christa. They were amazing and beautiful, and they deserved to be here, to have life.
She had been trying so hard to keep them here, but she couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t save them. She failed.
Something inside her broke, and she threw the family portrait against the wall. Then, she curled up into a ball and cried, harder than she had ever before. She screamed and shouted, releasing emotion she didn’t even know she had.
She only calmed down when it was too exhausting to keep crying, but the pain and emotion were still so raw.
It was in front of her now: a hole that wasn’t as black as she had seen from the corner of her eye. A warm glow reached her skin almost like a blanket.
“Is this how you get me? You trick me into thinking you’re not so bad?”
Suddenly her mind was flooded with images of family, happy and together, but they weren’t memories. They were something else.
She looked down at the scattered pictures around her, moments that she would never have back, never be able to recreate, at least not here.
“Okay.”
She pulled herself up to a stand, took in a deep breath, and walked into the Fade.